So my entire life I have been non-confrontational. If I had a problem with one of my friends, I would rather just get over it on my own that confront them about it because I knew it would pass. After doing this over and over again, I learned to get over things pretty quickly. And I must say this is a life skill that has helped me time and time again. However, if I have learned anything from my large, loud Italian family it’s that you had better speak up for yourself if you want to get anywhere. I am still coming to terms with this concept, though. Working on it. Another thing I have learned from them, and especially my parents, is that you never do things halfway. If you’re going to do something, put everything in it. That, I can do. And sometimes this comes back to bite you, like if you’re the only one putting everything into a relationship or a friendship. But it’s something you must keep doing. Wearing your heart on your sleeve, I guess.
So, what happens when you’re on the verge of becoming “that girl” in other people’s eyes? For something that they don’t even know the whole story about? Here comes my aversion to conflict…. Do I just sink into the background and let them talk, and accept the fact that they don’t know the actual story? And that as long as my good friends and I know the truth, that’s all that matters? Well, yes. But here comes the clash of that with me not liking to do things half-assed. So, mix the two personality traits together and you get the following: I am just going to sit back and see what happens. However, if that ship sails, you had better believe I am going to be the effing captain of it. And by this, I mean I am going to embrace who I am and live every day with confidence. Because people will always talk. And if I am seen as “that girl”, if there are whispers behind my back, you bet I am going to stand tall and let them say whatever they want to indulge their gossip driven lives.