The musings of a not-so-ordinary college girl with the spirit of a gypsy.
(via dreamykamu)
When in distress, put on a red dress.
Played. Lied. Call it what you want.
Actually, call it anything but the truth.
Because that really does the most good for everyone. — oh wait. It only does the most good for you.
That’s right, you only want what’s best for you, who cares who you hurt on the way? You don’t.
You only care for your own well being.
But wait… In putting yourself first you underestimate the power of those you step on in the process. And that’s your biggest mistake of all.
Iron Bars / Iron Heart
… Often have the most pain hidden behind them. I’ve heard this phrase so many times recently, and it’s now becoming an accurate description of me. It has also made me think — how many other people are hiding life’s wear and tear behind a happy face? How many people feel alone in their pain because their friends assume they are fine due to their ability to conceal it? I guess this brings me to the question: Is being able to hide pain a blessing or a burden? I still don’t know the answer. But I do know that it’s so important to treat everyone with love, because you don’t know what they are hiding behind their smile.
Many times I’ve loved, many times been bitten. Many times I’ve gazed along the open road. Many times I’ve lied, many times I’ve listened, many times I’ve wondered how much there is to know.
So my entire life I have been non-confrontational. If I had a problem with one of my friends, I would rather just get over it on my own that confront them about it because I knew it would pass. After doing this over and over again, I learned to get over things pretty quickly. And I must say this is a life skill that has helped me time and time again. However, if I have learned anything from my large, loud Italian family it’s that you had better speak up for yourself if you want to get anywhere. I am still coming to terms with this concept, though. Working on it. Another thing I have learned from them, and especially my parents, is that you never do things halfway. If you’re going to do something, put everything in it. That, I can do. And sometimes this comes back to bite you, like if you’re the only one putting everything into a relationship or a friendship. But it’s something you must keep doing. Wearing your heart on your sleeve, I guess.
So, what happens when you’re on the verge of becoming “that girl” in other people’s eyes? For something that they don’t even know the whole story about? Here comes my aversion to conflict…. Do I just sink into the background and let them talk, and accept the fact that they don’t know the actual story? And that as long as my good friends and I know the truth, that’s all that matters? Well, yes. But here comes the clash of that with me not liking to do things half-assed. So, mix the two personality traits together and you get the following: I am just going to sit back and see what happens. However, if that ship sails, you had better believe I am going to be the effing captain of it. And by this, I mean I am going to embrace who I am and live every day with confidence. Because people will always talk. And if I am seen as “that girl”, if there are whispers behind my back, you bet I am going to stand tall and let them say whatever they want to indulge their gossip driven lives.
